I have been procrastinating again. My birthday was like a week ago and I just could not bring myself to type about it even though I have always reminded myself somewhere in the back of my mind to update this blog. I swear, if this goes on this blog will end up deserted just like my previous blogs.
However, I will try to resuscitate this dying blog with my musings on everyday life as frequently as possible to fulfill my dreams of documenting my life events, however impossible that might sound. So here we go.
My 18th birthday was amazing. Well, compared to my previous birthdays. To be honest, I never thought of birthdays as anything important or worth remembering. Sure, it was the anniversary of our first day on planet Earth but what else? I have always wondered why would people go out of their way to throw a grand party and receive tons of presents on their birthday. What did we actually do to deserve it? I know for one thing all I did for the past 18 years was lived. Survived. Moved forward from anything that has happened in the past and embraced the unknown future with a stone face and mixed emotions.
Maybe that was why I had trouble remembering other people’s birthdays. Well actually I had trouble remembering a few other important dates as well, but that’s another story.
Sure I was excited as a little kid to get warm wishes and presents but as I grew up I just felt, meh. My birthdays were never special anyways. In fact, my birthdays were some of the days that I would feel really lonely and hopeless as I tend to compare how others celebrate their birthdays and how my “special” day pales in comparison to theirs.
I used to get jealous when other people would get surprises, parties thrown and receive awesome gifts from both parents and friends. I got annoyed to the point that I told myself, that I wouldn’t want it anyways, and somehow I managed to convince myself not to expect anything extra special on that day.
This year, after a bit of thinking I concluded that birthdays are not supposed to be about us. All we did was live, and living is not exactly a difficult task to do you know? I traced back the years that has flown by and realized that I have so many things to be thankful of.
First of, my mother. 18 years ago, on this exact same date, my mother has battled with life and death to bring me to this world. She carried me with her everywhere she went for 9 months and kept on doing so for God knows how long until I found my own feet. Truly, that is something worth remembering and should be appreciated for as long as she lives. Not to mention the tantrums she had to go through when I was a whiny little toddler, the headaches she had to endure to answer my bizarre questions when I was in kindergarten, the years she spent going back and forth to school to pick me up, and the patience she had in facing a hormonal teenager who would not even move a limb to help around at home with excuses of being “too tired” of her activities at boarding school. Yep, my mother definitely deserves an award for actually putting up with me for 18 whole years, longer that anyone in my life.Honestly, I am quite relieved as I will be less dependent on her now that I am starting to turn into an adult, I hope she gets the rest she well deserves.
My family. I would not describe myself as a family person, but I truly cherish all the times that we spent together. When I first entered boarding school, my family was the one thing that I always thought I had lost due to not seeing them for a long while. This year however, I realized that no matter how far, or how long we are apart from each other, when we get together we are still a family and nothing can ever change that. My father, my brothers, nephews, and niece are all that I could not bear to lose. Even though I rarely get to see their faces, knowing they are healthy and happy is more than enough for me. Moreover, my brother is flying abroad to japan this year, thus, there will be less people to go home to. 😦
My friends. They truly know how to make one feel special on their birthday. I received warm wishes from many, prayers for a sweet life, and thoughtful gifts and birthday cards from them. I even got a surprise visit on my birthday (which failed miserably because I was not home! :p) Honestly, I felt really guilty as I almost never buy presents for my friends as there are too many of them and if I were to buy them all gifts, I am too broke and if I was to buy one of them a gift the others would be jealous, and so I ended up buying none in the end. I have always been a paranoid person. I always worry that my friends do not actually like to be friends with me, and they are just nice to me cause I look pathetic or something? This is when birthdays become a real eye opener. When I see friends who genuinely care and bought me presents and whatnot, I feel really warm and for once, I actually believed that I am not alone to face this challenging world. It is truly a great feeling.
Lastly, my favourite thing about this year’s birthday was that, I experienced a lot of new things. On my birthday, I went ice skating for the second time in my life. I got so many bruises and cuts all over my knee and legs for falling down numerous times, but I felt very accomplished and proud of myself for not giving up until I am finally able to skate properly. The next day, I went to play at the amusement park with my batchmates which was an amazing memory as well, not to mention having to take the bus, and the train for almost 2 hours to reach home. Chalengging, but I definitely learnt something useful. The consequent day, me and my friends went to volunteer at the national Zoo., which was an eye-opening and valuable experience as well. All in all, this year’s 3 -day-birthday-celebration definitely gave me a lifetime worth of memories.
To sum it all up, I was really happy this week, not because it waas my birthday. I was just content to be able to spend my special day with people I love and cherish.Now I truly believe that birthdays are the time to be grateful, thankful and appreiate every single person that has been, still in, and will be in my life until forever as each and every one of them shaped me to be who I am today.
Attached below are some short videos of our outings 🙂