With faith, I trust in fate.
[Sincerely hoping my parents will never read this post]
I still remember the night I wrote my previous post. After a long crying session in the shower, I poured my heart’s contents into my blog and proceeded to book bus tickets and hotel rooms to escape from reality, without waiting for my parents’ consent.
The day before, I received an offer to go to an interview at UTP, Perak (About 3-4 hours away from home). I was having mixed feelings about it, since I wanted to pursue a career in Science, but the only courses they offered were Arts. It was quite odd actually, as the program is only offered to 20 people from the top 100 students in Malaysia, yet they only offer Arts subjects. I actually decided not to go, and told my mum it would be a waste of time and energy as it was too far and had nothing to do with my ambition. A hasty decision and a mind clouded with emotions was all it took to change that.
In my previous post, I told everyone that I wanted to run, I needed to run. I actually did that. I don’t even know how, but I managed to convince my parents to let me travel there with my friends instead of them sending me with their car. I did not necessarily lie..but let’s just say I bent the truth a little bit. With my parents thinking I was going with 2 or 3 friends, I rode on the express bus… alone.
I do not know where I got the courage from. I was crying for the first few minutes, but when I looked out the window and realised that I am actually travelling alone for the first time in my 18 years of existence (even though it was just to another state) , I felt brave and independent. I felt like I could take on the world. Well… until I was stranded at a bus stop by the road for 20 minutes. Would you believe how hard it was to find an Uber driver in the middle of that small city in Perak? In the end I just called the hotel and they gave me a number for the taxi. After arriving and checking in safely in the hotel, I laid on the queen sized bed and smiled to myself. Travelling all the way here was not such a bad idea after all.
3 days and 2 nights all alone in Perak made me a changed person. I enjoyed the sceneries, the graffiti on the walls of old buildings. had meals on my own, discovered the small shopping complex about 10 minutes walk from the hotel and even watched a movie alone! I have to admit that I felt lonely at times, but in general, it felt great to just spend time with myself and not worry about how others think of me, not worry about things that were happening at home and just do the things I wanted to do without having to consider other people’s preferences or opinions. It was liberating, to say the least.
The next day, I went for the interview. Even though I was not that excited for the interview, I did felt some sort of drive to do my best as this was probably my last chance for a scholarship anyways, and it was not easy to get in the top 100 in the country. I did the cot until the last minutes, checked my answers twice and tried to show the best side of myself during the interview. I met some awesome people as well, who were also more interested to take up Science than Arts but came just for the sake of it.
Today, I do not know how to feel when I received this;
Felt bizarre to think that I almost decided not to even go to the interview, but because of a small twist in fate, and the urge to run away from my problems, now I am among the 20 people in the whole Malaysia to receive this offer to study in any top universities in UK or US.
My parents are overjoyed, I was happy and grateful too but now when the feeling has sank in, all these questions arose. What if they won’t allow me to take veterinary medicine? Would I be forced to reject this offer? Would I be stupid if I did just to pursue the course I wanted?
Hmmm. Fate, do your job. I have utmost faith in you.