Lately, I have been making a lot of prayers to own a beautiful home. Somebody taught me that we should make specific and grand du’as for what we want, so that’s what I did.
“Ya Allah, please grant me a spacious landed house with a beautiful garden so my cats can run around in it. Make it big enough for my future family to live comfortably in, and make it beautiful so I can host my loved ones often.” I plead in my du’a sessions.
I know it’s not that grand, but in my head this is already a difficult-to-achieve dream, considering the state of the housing market these days. Also, considering my non-existent income #brokestudentproblems. But nothing is impossible with Allah, so I kept making this du’a with full conviction that He would answer me.
As I was vacuuming the floor this morning, the light on the brush head shone brightly, highlighting the thin layer of cat hair and dust that was covering almost every square inch of my floor. “Oh my god”, I thought, “I really need to vacuum more often, maybe even every day”. Then, “Maybe a robotic vacuum would help. But it’s so expensive!”.
Somehow it got me thinking of the du’a I made. If I were to have that big cozy landed house I asked for, maybe I would need several robotic or hand-held vacuums AND enough time and energy to clean if I want to maintain the floor hair-free all the time. Not to mention if I have kids in the future, or more cats (amin). The thought of maintaining an endless expanse of flooring area in a big house scares me. “Maybe I don’t want a house too spacious, Ya Allah, just an easier-to-maintain one. Hehe”, I thought again.
I was then reminded of the story of Saidatina Fatimah RA who asked Rasulullah SAW for a helper to manage the household chores and was taught to recite the famous dhikr instead: Subhanallah x33, Alhamdulillah x33, and Allahu Akbar x34. I was instantly humbled by this reminder and reconsidered my wishes. Should I follow the footsteps of Saidatina Fatimah instead and try focusing on being more content with my current abode? I am pretty sure my current residence is still more than what she had, but my gratitude is so lacking compared to her, I am so ungrateful astaghfirullah!!
This multitude of thoughts I had within a single morning got me reflecting on the fickleness of our (read: my) human desires. Sometimes, we complain because we think that Allah has not answered our du’as. We whine because we don’t get the things that we want and long for. But maybe the reason that we do not get the things that we desire, even if we prayed so earnestly for them is that Allah, Al-Alim, with His vast knowledge that transcends space and time knows that in a matter of days, months, or years, we – being the forgetful fickle human beings that we are – won’t really care about the things that we wished for any more. What we want today might be the complete opposite of what we want later in life. He knows that in the grand scheme of things, us not receiving the thing we desire at this exact moment is just a minor withholding to make space for a much more suitable blessing, tailor-made for us with our personal preferences and core values taken into account.
Contrasting the fickleness of the human nafs (desire), with the All-Encompassing Knowledge of God, it would be very silly of us to not show gratitude for every blessing that He gave and withheld from us. It would be very unfortunate if we do not think good of our Merciful Rabb because of our perceived deficiencies and losses. With all this being said, may we continue to make and renew our du’as constantly, updating Allah with each new realisation we have about ourselves and what we think we need to attain fid dunya hasanah wa fil akhirati hasanah, (goodness in this life and goodness in the hereafter). All while putting in equal parts effort and tawakkul.
Because at the end of the day, the answer to each du’a can only be 3:
yes,
yes but not yet,
or yes but much muuuch better ❤️.
What about you dear readers, what was something that you desperately wished for in the past but no longer think about or want anymore these days?
heart-written letters 